AS fly-on-the-wall, ‘day-in-the-life-of’ assignments go, it seemed a fairly safe bet. Go out with Inverclyde’s community wardens on a Friday evening in the run up to firework night to see them in action dealing with anti-social behaviour. In fact, so confident was I of facing trouble on our mean streets that it was with some trepidation I approached the experience. I needn’t have been afraid. After three-and-a-half hours patrolling east central Greenock with two wardens, not one call had come through for us to attend. No youths annoying anyone; no underage drinkers; no fireworks being let off; no nightmare noisy neighbours. How annoying. Where are the "ASBO thugs" when you need them? To make matters worse, while I enjoyed the peaceful environs of Broomhill, the Strone and Belville Street, a huge ship was aground at Langbank, and armed police were hunting an alleged armed robber in Inverkip. But all was not lost -- thanks to my helpful companions Donald and Graeme, who told me enough about their work for me to put together a reasonably interesting feature anyway. [Click, in case you missed it]

Not only did that article result from my adventure, but Donald and Graeme were able to clear up a mystery for me regarding the fountain at Port Glasgow’s new civic square. This tale really starts some months ago when a reader sent me a photo in which the water surrounding the fountains was completely white. Foolishly, I had ignored it, assuming it was some sort of computer trickery.

Anti-social behaviour has curious forms and interesting origins.

Weeks later, I was in the Port one windy afternoon and became aware of bubbles floating around. They were coming from the fountain area at the square where I discovered that the whole pond had been turned to bubbles. I wondered if this was the result of some Euro-funded regeneration project designed to cheer up life in Port Glasgow. I even asked a local councillor – he was aware of the bubbles but could shed no light on their origin.

Well, fast forward to the community warden van patrolling Greenock one recent Friday and Graeme showing me a night-time image on his mobile phone of soapsville, Port Glasgow. He was able to reveal that the bubbles could be considered the product of what we searched in vain for that night – anti-social behaviour. Apparently young people deposit the whole contents of bottles of washing up liquid in the fountain pool and soon there is a wonderful bubble effect. Mind you, one person’s anti-social behaviour is another person’s art, I suppose. The feeling on the street seems to be that the perpetrators use Fairy Liquid, and judging by the amount of bubbles, I can well believe it. I haven’t checked with police to see if anyone has got into soapy bubble because of it yet.

On the subject of what is and isn’t anti-social behaviour, I consider myself the victim of it recently – ironically, those guilty, I assume, were actually trying to thwart vandalism. This unlikely scenario played out bizarrely during a beautiful but solemn moment on Lyle Hill, Greenock, on Remembrance Sunday. I was attempting to take photos of the wreath-laying ceremony and thought a higher vantage point would be just the thing so I decided to walk up the slope leading to a cliff edge above the Cross of Lorraine.

I instinctively reached to hold the fence beside the slope and recoiled immediately as my hand had become covered in a sort of black paint substance. I could only assume it was there to stop people climbing over into the golf course.

It was only later, having washed my hand, when I looked at the photos I had taken of the Remembrance ceremony that I discovered how the anti-vandal effort had completely backfired and had actually given a previous victim of the fence paint just what was needed to deface Inverclyde’s best known landmark – above the poppy wreaths, on the base of the Free French Memorial, were a number of black hand prints. If only there had been a soapy fountain nearby for them to wash their hands in instead.

LINKS

PHOTOS Of The Port Fountain

Pic 1

Pic 2

LYLE Hill Remembrance Photos

DIARY Of A (Shy) Internet Journalist